VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework, and Commitment
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VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework, and Commitment
In their own words, married men reveal what they really think about marriage, sex, housework, commitment, and intimacy.
Much has been written about what women want from their relationships and marriages. But what men want has remained a mystery -- until now. In his groundbreaking new book, VoiceMale, author and journalist Neil Chethik reveals surprising truths about married men and challenges many of the myths about men that prevent couples from creating strong and lasting relationships.
Based on a landmark survey of American husbands across the country, VoiceMale reveals that most men are not commitment-phobic, that they don't have sex on their minds all the time, and that they are willing to talk frankly about their relationships -- just not in the same way women do. Men have complex inner lives, just like women. But they have a unique, masculine style of loving that focuses more on doing than talking, on sharing space rather than sharing feelings, and on side-by-side closeness rather than face-to-face intimacy.
In VoiceMale, Chethik weaves together real-life stories and survey results to create a unique portrait of the American husband. Men share their thoughts on the myriad issues that married couples face: commitment, money, careers, children, in-laws, and more. They openly discuss the character traits they seek in a woman when they're looking to marry. And they speak honestly about their struggles adjusting to marriage, raising children, balancing work and family, keeping marital sex exciting, and avoiding infidelity.
Chethik spent two years traveling across the country, talking with men of different ages, religions, and ethnic backgrounds, in urban centers and rural towns. His interviewees had been married for anywhere from a few weeks to as long as seventy-two years. He notes the enormous changes in American marriage since the 1960s and explores how men have tried to adjust to them -- sometimes successfully, often not.
Full of surprising revelations and the strong feelings that men have about their lives -- and about the women who share those lives with them -- VoiceMale demonstrates that despite their many differences, most husbands and wives ultimately want the same thing: a trusted fellow traveler in their journey through life.
Customer Reviews:
Avg. Customer Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Male Thinking:
This is an excellent book which explains how men think. It describes in detail the problems my male friends complain about. Since the time I finished reading the book, I have loaned it to the wife of my best friend and the wife of my next door neighbor. Both women have read it and have said it helped them deal with their husbands. I highly recommend this book to any married woman who wants to improve her marriage.
Disappointing:
As someone who has read several books on the subject I'm finding this book disappointing. When I read reviews from other readers I could not wait to dive into this book. Now, I'm struggling to finish it. If men want an understanding of themselves I would pick up the Every Mans series by Stephen Arterburn or "True Believer" by Eric Hoffer.
is all the 5 star reviews guys under 30?:
First, "carry your weight around the house." (Husbands, keep reading, it comes with a surprising payoff!) This means creating a fair environment, Chethik says. In other words, the division of labor needs to be equitable and something you both can agree on. That doesn't mean that he can't do the laundry and she can't run the lawnmower, but the work of running a household should be shared. "Be sure that your wife does not think that she's in charge of cleaning and laundry and all that other sort of... more info
Men and women should celebrate this book!:
Author Neil Chethik has written an excellent, thoughtful, easy to read and enlightening view of the world of married men. They say statistics can lie, and I was wary when I saw the number: 288 married men, I worried that the results may not reflect the "average" man who struggles with the challenges of husbanding. Quite the contrary, Chethik's results parallel all the major studies done about men, and reinforce some of the keys to a happy marriages that researchers have discovered in the last 20 years.more info
